You’re not fat…your body is!!


In this video I discuss how so often people will describe a problem they want to change, like being overweight or smoking, using “I am” language. Saying something like “I am fat” or “I am a smoker” causes you to connect that situation, activity or experience to your identity. The problem with doing this is that it is very difficult for someone to change something at the level of identity. Once you claim something like this at the level of identity it becomes part of who you are in the world and to get rid of that (even though you may not like it) might, unconsciously, threaten a part of your existence. So, rather than saying that you are fat or that you are a smoker it would be better to take the stance that it is your BODY that is fat (not YOU) or that you choose to smoke (it is something you do, not who you are). When you can comfortably see that these are things outside of your identity then you have the power to change them by understanding that they are indicators of something else. Figure out what these things are a reflection of or an indication of and it will be much easier to deal with why they existed in the first place. Hint: everything we do we do to feel better or safe.

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